15 April 2006
Big Trouble
No little China.
Last Wednesday was the last day for this girl in our office. A going away party was organized on Tuesday and, since I had been on-site with her a couple of times, I thought that I would go. This would be my first going away party for someone - up to now everyone has either stayed or left because of downsizing. There are not a lot of parties for people who do not want to leave and do not have another job already lined up. Also, this was to be my first time at the bar with my manager and his infamous buddies. I was quite curious to see exactly what their nights out looked like.
On Wednesday I head over to the bar where the going away is taking place. I have order a beer and start enjoying the time. After I finish my 3rd beer I decide that I should call it an evening and head home. I tell the girl to bring me my bill and off I go. But I don't. I have paid but there I sit. And I sit. And I sit.
So after a hour and a half of sitting it is now 7:45 and I am still there but I am paid and can go whenever I like. Well, the others had continued to drink - they were not intending to go home like me - and so at that point I get another beer. What am I doing? I am going home. So I drink my beer and then get another. Now I am really confused. I was going to go home.
About this time the barkeep says that there is a call for me. I answer and it is Kate. Did I forget to mention that Kate has no idea where I am. She is crying and angry and tells me to come home now and then hangs up.
I am in big trouble.
(I will not go into the rest of then evening - as it is personal - but I did have to make this great mistake up to her and I have and everything is now OK again.)
I have learned my lesson. I am now a better trained husband. ¶ 15:02
Last Wednesday was the last day for this girl in our office. A going away party was organized on Tuesday and, since I had been on-site with her a couple of times, I thought that I would go. This would be my first going away party for someone - up to now everyone has either stayed or left because of downsizing. There are not a lot of parties for people who do not want to leave and do not have another job already lined up. Also, this was to be my first time at the bar with my manager and his infamous buddies. I was quite curious to see exactly what their nights out looked like.
On Wednesday I head over to the bar where the going away is taking place. I have order a beer and start enjoying the time. After I finish my 3rd beer I decide that I should call it an evening and head home. I tell the girl to bring me my bill and off I go. But I don't. I have paid but there I sit. And I sit. And I sit.
So after a hour and a half of sitting it is now 7:45 and I am still there but I am paid and can go whenever I like. Well, the others had continued to drink - they were not intending to go home like me - and so at that point I get another beer. What am I doing? I am going home. So I drink my beer and then get another. Now I am really confused. I was going to go home.
About this time the barkeep says that there is a call for me. I answer and it is Kate. Did I forget to mention that Kate has no idea where I am. She is crying and angry and tells me to come home now and then hangs up.
I am in big trouble.
(I will not go into the rest of then evening - as it is personal - but I did have to make this great mistake up to her and I have and everything is now OK again.)
I have learned my lesson. I am now a better trained husband. ¶ 15:02
Comments:
<< Home
Glad it's worked out. Sorry you had to learn it the hard way. I could have (should have) warned you about this. My thoughlessness, or at least, different way of thinking about things, caused a considerable degree of worry and consternation in similar situations.
My former job involved a significant amount of "mandatory socializing" a.k.a "forced fun." Afterwork events were common, probably one night a week, and the duration of these events was highly variable. Sometimes it was a two-drink hour after work; sometimes it was a raging bar crawl until 2 a.m. spanning the entire city; usually it was some time in between. When to leave was only partly my own decision because attending (and going the distance) had significant career implications. I attended many of these without incident, and I was scrupulous about calling Susan to let her know I was going (for some reason, I almost always subconsciously couched it as "do you mind if I...") Even so, I learned some valuable lessons via conflict over this post-work-work/fun that you describe.
First, wives worry - worse than parents even. Susan always expected the worst when I underestimated the time the forced fun would last. I can only imagine if I hadn't called her at all. Second, even the worry averted by the initial call has a limited duration. This one you may need for the future. While it seems like an explanation that you are going out might cover "as long as it takes," it might be good practice to check in let her know you'll be out later than (she) anticipated. (Through several heated conversations about her expectations and my expectations, I established the before I leave work/9 p.m./midnight calling program.) Finally, if she's calling to see where you are, it's already too late; nevertheless, I was careful to check my phone frequently because sometimes it doesn't ring through. And a prompt call back is better than making her call and call and call, and end up calling the bar.
Of course, this is all stuff I should've shared with you a year ago. But hey, maybe someone out there reading this can avoid our mistakes.
My former job involved a significant amount of "mandatory socializing" a.k.a "forced fun." Afterwork events were common, probably one night a week, and the duration of these events was highly variable. Sometimes it was a two-drink hour after work; sometimes it was a raging bar crawl until 2 a.m. spanning the entire city; usually it was some time in between. When to leave was only partly my own decision because attending (and going the distance) had significant career implications. I attended many of these without incident, and I was scrupulous about calling Susan to let her know I was going (for some reason, I almost always subconsciously couched it as "do you mind if I...") Even so, I learned some valuable lessons via conflict over this post-work-work/fun that you describe.
First, wives worry - worse than parents even. Susan always expected the worst when I underestimated the time the forced fun would last. I can only imagine if I hadn't called her at all. Second, even the worry averted by the initial call has a limited duration. This one you may need for the future. While it seems like an explanation that you are going out might cover "as long as it takes," it might be good practice to check in let her know you'll be out later than (she) anticipated. (Through several heated conversations about her expectations and my expectations, I established the before I leave work/9 p.m./midnight calling program.) Finally, if she's calling to see where you are, it's already too late; nevertheless, I was careful to check my phone frequently because sometimes it doesn't ring through. And a prompt call back is better than making her call and call and call, and end up calling the bar.
Of course, this is all stuff I should've shared with you a year ago. But hey, maybe someone out there reading this can avoid our mistakes.
One day I may need this information... I shall attempt to learn from your mistakes and never experience this particular type of problem. On the other hand I'm confident of my ability to screw up on my own...
I think it is significant to add here that it was after 9 pm when I finally tracked him down. And pregnancy makes "crying" into hysteria (however justified). Also, as mentioned, Mr. Bierman is not known for attending the bar with friends or coworkers and thus it didn't seem a possibility.
Post a Comment
<< Home
